Is Michael there? Are you sure?

(Please note, because of the time that has passed since I wrote this article, it may no longer reflect my current views or the most accurate and complete information available on this subject.)

My day started at 4 in the morning today. I was having a dream about someone knocking on the door to wherever I was, and then I realized that the knocking was in fact real, and that someone was pounding on the front door of my house and ringing the door bell over and over again. I think the last time that happened to me was at about 4 AM also, when I was in Scotland and a fellow student was so inebriated that he demanded that I leave "his" room, and then fell over in the hallway. So for that or some other reason, I was immediately thinking it was someone out of their mind with meth-amphetamine or something similar that's recently been played up as an unthinkable evil invading our communities. Gosh, I get dramatic at that hour.

The knocking and ringing continued for five minutes. Five minutes! WHO DOES THAT? Nobody! After peeking out the window with the proper adrenaline build up that would let me dodge their flying ninja knives or shoulder-fired missiles, I yelled, "Hello!?".

A female voice replies: "Is Michael there?" "No, you have the wrong house." "Are you sure?" I almost laughed. "YES I'M SURE." "How long's it been since Michael lived there?" What the hell, is this the best time a neighborhood history lesson? "I don't know, at least a few years, now please stop banging on the door before I call the police." And then I hear a car door slam and they sped away.

Always nice to have visitors over to the house.

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