"Apprentice" Season Two Checklist

Mark Burnett's checklist for Season Two of "The Apprentice" (yes, I watch that crap, leave me alone):

  • Elevate Donald Trump to the status of demigod through not-so-subtle use of regal music and flattering camera angles. Check.
  • Exploit women for profit while using Carolyn's "strong character" to take the moral high ground. Check.
  • Breaking the stated rules of the game, fire someone who isn't technically allowed to be fired that week. Check.
  • Breaking the stated rules of the game, prematurely fire someone outside of the boardroom session set aside for firing. Check.
  • Breaking the stated rules of the game, fire multiple people at one time. Check.

Still to come (we'll definitely be Jumping the Shark this season folks):

  • Task where teams have 2 days to end poverty, oppression, and war with $25K seed money.
  • Special episode featuring Stacy J. on how to slander people you don't like and ruin their lives on national television. Subtitled: "Diagnosing mental illness for MBAs"
  • Fire Carolyn.
  • As the fired candidate is walking out to the taxi, shoot him or her in the kneecap with a sniper rifle.

Just wait, I'm tellin' ya. We ain't seen nothin' yet.

Passive Entertainment Convergence

Okay, I'm not usually one to gripe, or even talk about, the horrors of keeping up with all my favorite TV shows and movies. But last night was just not fair. UPN was showing two episodes of Star Trek Enterprise (one of the two TV shows I watch), one at 8 and one at 9. The 9 o'clock showing overlapped with the season finale of The West Wing (the second of the two TV shows I watch), which overlapped with my travel and prep-time for the 10 o'clock theater showing of The Matrix Reloaded (one of the few movies I've bothered to see the premiere of). What's a Science-Fiction/Political-Fantasy geek to do? What kind of messed up cosmic forces come up with that kind of timing? Hmmm...the Borg collaborating with the people that kidnapped Zoe, working inside the Matrix? Nah.