Mark Burnett's checklist for Season Two of "The Apprentice" (yes, I watch that crap, leave me alone):
- Elevate Donald Trump to the status of demigod through not-so-subtle use of regal music and flattering camera angles. Check.
- Exploit women for profit while using Carolyn's "strong character" to take the moral high ground. Check.
- Breaking the stated rules of the game, fire someone who isn't technically allowed to be fired that week. Check.
- Breaking the stated rules of the game, prematurely fire someone outside of the boardroom session set aside for firing. Check.
- Breaking the stated rules of the game, fire multiple people at one time. Check.
Still to come (we'll definitely be Jumping the Shark this season folks):
- Task where teams have 2 days to end poverty, oppression, and war with $25K seed money.
- Special episode featuring Stacy J. on how to slander people you don't like and ruin their lives on national television. Subtitled: "Diagnosing mental illness for MBAs"
- Fire Carolyn.
- As the fired candidate is walking out to the taxi, shoot him or her in the kneecap with a sniper rifle.
Just wait, I'm tellin' ya. We ain't seen nothin' yet.