Everything you need to know about Cops

For the last several weeks I have been participating in a broad stroke study of law enforcement practices on city streets across America. I have done ride-alongs with police officers from coast to coast - Portland, Oregon to Austin, Texas to Cincinnati, Ohio to Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. These ride-alongs are usually in the form of 22 minute segments during which I am transported to the ride-along locations using a technology called "Court Television." As the ride-alongs start to blur together and the study comes to a close, I thought I would share some of the conclusions that have come out of the experience, in no particular order:
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Public Radio Fundraising == Hell

Well, it's that time of year again, when public radio stations completely abandon any pretense of professionalism and dignity, and begin soliciting their listeners for money.

Announcer #1: Well, we're sorry to break in to this news story about critical current events, but we've got a great jello recipe that can be yours for a pledge of just five dollars.
Announcer #2: That's right Tom. Unfortunately, the phones are all quiet right now. If we don't get a call in the next few minutes, well, I'm not sure we'll be able to avoid clubbing this baby seal. But it's up to you folks. Call now.

And then they repeat the phone number a bazillion times, placing emphasis on different numbers each time.

You sure don't get that nonsense with those big conglomerate media companies. Clear Channel doesn't bother me for my support, and that's one time when I appreciate being a helpless consumer eating at the trough of mindless mass media. Beat that, public radio! HA!

Oh, wait. I kinda need a new jello recipe.

4th of July ruined again: can't go to Bahrain

The U.S. State Department is issuing a warning cautioning Americans against traveling to Bahrain for fear of terrorist attacks, which means that once again my 4th of July plans for this weekend have been completely messed up. I guess they don't really understand that some people made plans a long time ago to visit various Persian Gulf nations, and that an advisory on the Friday before a big travel weekend just doesn't cut it. Dagnabbit!

I will have only you with love forever

Spam of the day:

From: peters mikel <petersmikel@yahoo.ca>
To: chris@summersault.com
Subject: my good friend reply me quick.

I am very happy to write you email, i hope you are in good condition of health. as for me iam fine. my name is mike chris am living in spain i want you to been my good friend. please, I dont have any friend, i will have only you with love forever. i want a good relationship that will develop forever . email here my tele number 34606367081 call me i hope to hear from you god bless you Amen.
mike chris.

Humor on the Net Roundup

A convergence of funny things going on on-line has hit me this week, so I should share some of those. First you have the "e-mail virus wars" that have broken out between the Bagel worm and the NetSky worm. The two apparently wage war on each other on your vulnerable desktop, including cursing, malicious uninstallation, sounds on your speaker, and more...follow the drama here. Then you have the Dishonest Dubya lying action figure, which, regardless of your political views, is just a fun toy to play with. 🙂 Then you have your culturally insensitive parody of a Microsoft product. And finally, you have the latest issue of The Onion, with news stories such as "Virulent Strain Of Soy Flu Traced To Single Tofurkey" and "Jesus Demands Creative Control Over Next Movie". Enjoy.